At any office, no matter the type of business, people will call in with strange or outlandish queries. At our New Jersey personal injury law firm, we have had people call with extremely weird requests. Sometimes you have to just stop and find the humor in these calls and let yourself laugh.
We racked our brains trying to remember the oddest calls we have received and came up with the best of the best. With personal injury in particular there is already a stigma that these lawsuits are frivolous, but the cases we actually take—where our clients have been severely injured because of someone else’s negligence—are nothing compared to these attempts at filing a suit.
Despite popular belief, we are not ambulance chasers. We are not out there to make a quick buck and you would be hard pressed to find an attorney that would take any of the cases we are about to share. These individuals fall into three categories: they are looking to make fast money, they are desperate, or they are simply naïve and do not understand what constitutes a personal injury claim.
Enjoy the stuff our callers say—note that we did not take any of these cases.
1. Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?
One man called in wanting to sue a major cookie company. Apparently he had bit into a cookie that had some sort of stick in it. The ‘stick’ broke his tooth. He contacted the cookie company and they offered to pay for his dental bills. He did not accept their offer. He had contacted several other lawyers before calling us, all of whom rejected his case. He informed us that he saved the cookie and the stick for us.
2. I paid you to fix her problems!
Man called in and wanted to sue his wife’s therapist. He alleged that his wife went into therapy and once she began seeing this therapist she decided to leave him and take his children. He felt it was the therapist’s fault.
3. Your glue is too potent!
A woman called us stating that she would like to sue a super glue company. She explained that while using their product she was holding the tube facing towards her face rather than down. When she squeezed it the glue squirted in her eye and ultimately glued her eye shut.
4. Ziploc is supposed to be strong!
Caller wanted to know who she could sue, she was open to anyone. She was injured when she was pulling a raccoon out of a friend’s motor while wearing plastic bags on her hands.
5. It wasn’t me
One man called us trying to find out his legal options. Apparently he had a lady friend who threatened to call the police if he did not stop calling and texting her. He admitted to continually contacting her despite her requests to stop. He asked what we thought he should do—we suggested that he stop calling her.
6. Your sidewalk doesn’t work with these shoes
The man who called us was walking into Target. He was wearing sandals that had tiny treading on the bottom, and the tread got stuck in the crack of the sidewalk outside the store. He tripped and broke his shoulder. He wanted to sue Target because their sidewalk cracks were the right size to make his shoe get stuck.
7. I need to use the restroom…down there looks good!
When people are intoxicated they do silly things, like our one called. He needed to use the restroom, instead of using the one indoors he decided to go out on the deck and urinate from there. After that—or during we are not really sure—he decided to jump off the deck. He hurt himself when he failed to land on his feet. He was interested in suing the homeowner where this occurred.
8. But Officer, I swear to drunk I’m not God
Caller was extremely intoxicated, and when he attempted to walk home he fell, sustained several fractures, and passed out. The police found him, unresponsive, and took him to the hospital. He wanted to sue the police for taking him to the hospital because of the bills. Or perhaps he wanted to sue because he was upset about the police finding illegal substances on his person and they ultimately charged him with possession.
9. Anything but my car!
A man called in and wanted to sue his soon-to-be ex-wife. They had co-signed together on a car and in the divorce proceedings she threatened to take the car from him. He said that he felt her actions were malicious and were causing him serious emotional distress.
And here it is, the strangest phone call we have ever received!
10. You can’t fool me — I know you are a robot!
A young man—or so we thought—called our office to discuss filing a personal injury claim for a car accident that occurred 10 years ago. The caller informed us that he had serious injuries that he did not treat for. We have a set list of information we must gather when a lead comes in to see if it is worth pursuing a lawsuit, and the man became extremely frustrated with us as we asked these questions.
He started to raise his voice and then revealed that he was not the man injured in the accident, SHE was in fact his mother. She had talked in a deep voice to pretend she was her son and throughout the call said things like “I was in an accident,” and “I was injured.” Her claim was that he had been injured in a bus accident when he was 10 (he was now 20 which means his case had to be filed immediately because for minors you only have until 2 years following their 18th birthday). She did not know what caused the accident, who the defendant was, or what bus company it was. She said that his “serious injuries” were that following the accident his temperament changed and he started misbehaving in school.
We informed her that we would give the information to our attorneys to review and would contact her back. Five minutes later she called back and asked to speak with our intake employee again. When she was back on the phone she informed us that she wanted to clarify that she had spoken to a person and not a ROBOT. We sent her a letter stating that we would not be taking the case.
These calls may have been frivolous and outlandish, but every day people are seriously injured due to someone else’s careless actions and that is when you must utilize the civil justice system in this country. When you have been injured it affects you in so many more ways than just the physical pain; there is also the emotional stress and the financial burden for both you and your family. If you or someone you love has been hurt in an accident, contact Console & Hollawell’s accident injury attorneys in New Jersey today. Set up your free consultation by calling (866) 778-5500.
